Time Off

-

T I M E   O F F

I have lit a candle one hour ago. Finally, at this moment, I have to put out the candle. I was actually hoping that at some point I can extend its capacity, but I am not capable of doing it. Unfortunately, I just have one candle.

Being a book lover can help me to get through with my loneliness.
I am in a sober mood right now. I can’t convince my friends that I am actually doing it. Yes, I am honest with myself. I disposed every guy I am into.  This sober mood was actually an advice from my high school classmate as I’ve told her that I am really struggling in my relationships. (‘Relationships’ because I’ve been with a lot of guys and I am not used in counting them anyway.) I keep holding on the past and I left messy things on the present. This is what I have accustomed from the time being I’ve learned how to love.

         I am always wishing for my one true love. I’m a hopeless romantic. I keep on thinking what will happen in the next few years to come. I am already in my mid-20’s and still, I’m single and proud. My friends are already establishing relationships. Some are married. My best friend has a son already. I am not elaborating this just to tell to myself that I am rushing things, but there are moments that I keep on asking, ‘Why I am still not moving?’. I can’t avoid loneliness and I get jealous at times.
            "Everything has its own reason".
I did not experience receiving a flower from a lover.

Give me some lights my dear. 
       
       Life can be tough. Being sober is my sole decision. I just don’t want to fall in love right now. I have to use my quality time in establishing my priorities. I have my degree to finish in graduate school. I have to go abroad next year. I have to pursue my nursing career. I have to be single at this moment. PERIOD.

       I am planning to continue this journey for about two years or even more. Maybe I can really do it, for I have been single for four years already. I say sorry for all the guys whom I’ve broken their hearts. I have forgiven all the guys who have broken my heart. I’m just a good girl who have placed in a situation where I’m always defeated.




This is just about me.
This is really about my determination in making things possible.

I am hoping that like this sunset my journey will just peacefully allow me to get some colorful memories out of this experience.

Location: Philippines

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

'Problems don't stay problems, they turn into something else.'

-
Image
Written July 14, 2015 . This is the movie wallpaper of Wild. I just finished watching the movie 'Wild'. I chose to watch this movie tonight because of Reese Witherspoon and she's one of my favorite. And also, I didn't have a lot of things to do right now, so I prefer a movie over a book. I thought this was all about hiking because that was the idea I got in the trailer. I was wrong. Somehow, as the story continues, it illustrates how strong a woman can face life alone in the dessert and how she survives such crisis. It also depicts what a woman can do in order to move on and surpass her troubles. As a woman, myself, the movie helps me to become more courageous enough in dealing with my own problems. There was a line that catches my attention, 'Problems don't stay problems, they turn into something else.' It can be our life's motto especially if we are losing hope in our situation. This is Cheryl Strayed. Cheryl Strayed and Reese Wither
Read more

AMARAH

-
Image
    Amarah                ‘Sweet as Candy’               Look who I’ve captured! Meet Amarah on her pre-birthday photo shoot. She’s very adorable little girl. Soon enough, she will grow as bubbly as she can be.                            That SMILE!  :-)
Read more

It's you again, my friend.

-
Image
I t’s been awhile since the last time we met, but then, fate had granted, we really have to meet again. I miss you. I am not sure but I know that you’re feeling the same way too. Or maybe, I just assumed.   I always got you in my mind.   You're a like track on my playlist that I keep on playing.               On the 6 years that I’ve known you, I found myself in a desperate position to be with you again. However, I didn’t quite imagine that I was the only one who keeps on hoping that one day you’ll be back for me. ‘I am not always your priority.’   You have treated me so badly, but unfortunately, I still love you.             You’re the last guy I am thinking right now and you’re the reason why things got so complicated. I have to let you go my dear. Being friends with you in this very long time, doesn’t make any sense anymore. The six years is enough already. I need my freedom and loving you is always a challenge.             Two years ago, I do
Read more