It's you again, my friend.

-
I
t’s been awhile since the last time we met, but then, fate had granted, we really have to meet again. I miss you. I am not sure but I know that you’re feeling the same way too. Or maybe, I just assumed. 

I always got you in my mind. You're a like track on my playlist that I keep on playing. 

             On the 6 years that I’ve known you, I found myself in a desperate position to be with you again. However, I didn’t quite imagine that I was the only one who keeps on hoping that one day you’ll be back for me.
‘I am not always your priority.’
 You have treated me so badly, but unfortunately, I still love you.


            You’re the last guy I am thinking right now and you’re the reason why things got so complicated. I have to let you go my dear. Being friends with you in this very long time, doesn’t make any sense anymore. The six years is enough already. I need my freedom and loving you is always a challenge.
            Two years ago, I do have regrets of letting you go. I was so damn confused if you are really serious about starting a relationship again. I was never been so sure. I wanted you most, but I rejected your offer. It was a whirlwind scenario.
          Right now,  I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU that I can’t even start a relationship with anyone else. It is always you that I am holding on. What if, one day, you’ll come back?
            Tomorrow, I will cut all ties with you. Helping you to get through with this dilemma will be the very last time. It hurts knowing that you lied to me. I was such a fool. I was always your last choice. Last year, I was really hopeful about us. I keep on thinking that maybe at some point you will look back on me. I was so wrong. Instead, you’ve broken my heart from that time being.
            
          
           I want to thank you for all the memories that I’ve shared with you in the past 6 years. It’s really a long time my friend. We have every moments to consider as our ups and downs. Maybe, we’re not really meant for each other. It’s easy to say that ‘time’ will change and fade everything. We can forgive, but we can never forget. I wished you all the best in your life. No matter where I go, I will always remember the friendship.
            At this moment, you are really the last guy on my mind. It’s time for me to focus on myself first. I have to love myself more than ever. I’ll be alright. I have to sober up from any relationship. There are some priorities that I must address before sharing my life with someone.
             Maybe this was just a dream that I never wanted to remember. Not everything has a happy ending. I have loved you, but I know you can’t love me.
            The End.
            Goodbye, my friend. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

'Problems don't stay problems, they turn into something else.'

-
Image
Written July 14, 2015 . This is the movie wallpaper of Wild. I just finished watching the movie 'Wild'. I chose to watch this movie tonight because of Reese Witherspoon and she's one of my favorite. And also, I didn't have a lot of things to do right now, so I prefer a movie over a book. I thought this was all about hiking because that was the idea I got in the trailer. I was wrong. Somehow, as the story continues, it illustrates how strong a woman can face life alone in the dessert and how she survives such crisis. It also depicts what a woman can do in order to move on and surpass her troubles. As a woman, myself, the movie helps me to become more courageous enough in dealing with my own problems. There was a line that catches my attention, 'Problems don't stay problems, they turn into something else.' It can be our life's motto especially if we are losing hope in our situation. This is Cheryl Strayed. Cheryl Strayed and Reese Wither...
Read more

Moving forward takes time.

-
Image
     I already said my goodbyes repeatedly years ago, but when he came back without a warning, the feelings have suddenly immersed and I am here troubled with doubts of what would be the right thing to do.       Yes, I dearly love him after all these years, but as far as we go through this journey, we can’t keep ourselves steady and stable in securing a commitment. I don’t know if this is just a minor feeling, but I am hurt already in the inside especially on his silent treatment and ignoring behavior.       I love him that I almost have given everything just to keep him in my life. Love can really make us crazy and because of these raging feelings, I can do things without even thinking clearly. Now that he’s far away from me, I am keeping myself secure and somehow ready for anything that will happen sooner.       I should be contented with what I only have in my life. Honestly, this is what I co...
Read more

GERD, why do you have to keep on coming back?

-
Image
GERD, why do you have to keep on coming back? Originally written last June 26, 2013. 'Sometimes we tend to overindulged ourselves with earthly things. Then, frustration comes in when the feeling of inadequacy overshadowed us.'    Last June 23, 2013, I ate a lot that I couldn't manage my stomach anymore. It started with a cup of milo at 4am. I was in the graveyard shift that time. I didn't have enough sleep and I don't have any choice, but to drink cup of coffee after I ate my breakfast. Well, I'm living with my family and I didn't have the hard time in preparing my meals. That morning we enjoyed our merienda because shared a serve of mango float. I'm glad staying in the house every weekend because my siblings were there and together we're complete as a family. I ate four slices of pizza the afternoon of that day and then, it started my hyperacidity.      I was diagnosed with GERD last year. GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Diseas...
Read more