Sweetest Goodbye.

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       Right now, every time I take a few deep breaths, I can feel that my heart is gradually ripping into pieces. This will be a challenging start in my life. I should make a point that I am moving one step ahead every day. Life will always be tough and these feelings can be one of the greatest fears that I am thinking before entering in any form of relationships.

The first few months of 2016 had given enough realizations in my life. It was an upside down episodes that I didn’t expect to happen. It happened last night that I’ve given up everything about him. For almost 6 years of turning my attentions to him, I’ve finally decided that it has to end. I can’t go on with my life anymore always reserving an empty space for him. I can’t entertain someone without thinking ‘what if’ about us. He said that I should not write about this, but I can’t stop myself from putting into words what I am truly feeling. This should be expressed in the most appropriate way.

‘Friendship is what I can only offer.’
      
      It was hard for me to pretend that it’s okay for me to deal with the friendship thing. Every time that I’m with him, I always make sure that I cherish we have shared, even on the simple jokes, coffee dates up to the most detailed romantic evening. Every time that we were together, we always make sure that we shared another most remembered moment. I know that we’ve never been in that relationship thing and we’ve both mutually agreed that everything was just a ‘special friendship’. At once, I was contented with that situation, but right now, I can't deal anymore.

I have to accept that having him in my life will always be one of the sweetest memories that I have to keep. I need to move on now and look forward in the new beginning that God will offer to me. This will take a lot of time, but I consider this as a big step already. I felt so relieved in saying goodbye to him. I don’t have any regrets for standing up with my decision. I think I have enough already. Maybe someday, we’ll meet again and I am hoping that I will still be happy in this decision.


‘Thank you for everything my friend. It was somehow a unique kind of ride. I already have enough realizations that help me to conclude that there will never be a future for us. I want you to know that I have loved you since the first day I met you. No wonder I keep on holding on to our friendship thing after all these years. This will always be our sweetest goodbye. Thank you for not dealing it in a negative way; instead it was a goodnight that had happened because you still make sure that I smiled when that black screen appeared.’




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